{"id":634,"date":"2015-01-14T14:58:08","date_gmt":"2015-01-14T19:58:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/?p=634"},"modified":"2015-01-14T14:58:08","modified_gmt":"2015-01-14T19:58:08","slug":"shes-not-that-into-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/shes-not-that-into-you\/","title":{"rendered":"She&#8217;s Not That Into You"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"dslc-theme-content\"><div id=\"dslc-theme-content-inner\"><p>I want to talk about the part of\u00a0<em>Dragon Age: Inquisition<\/em> that made me cry, or at the very least to tear up and force myself to not cry.<\/p>\n<p>There are a lot of narrative beats, a lot of moments, in\u00a0<em>DA:I<\/em>. I am sure you might expect that this emotionally-impacting scene is one of many in the rather large, global scope of the game&#8217;s story. Right?<\/p>\n<p>Nope. It&#8217;s about a woman. Specifically this woman:<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_635\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-635\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-635\" src=\"http:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/cassandra.jpg\" alt=\"Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker of the Chantry\" width=\"300\" height=\"286\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-635\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cassandra Pentaghast, Seeker of the Chantry<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Probably my biggest, tear-jerking-est emotional moment in\u00a0<em>Dragon Age: Inquisition<\/em> came when Cassandra Pentaghast had finally had enough of my flirting and had to tell me, in no uncertain terms, that it wasn&#8217;t meant to be.<\/p>\n<p>While this post is mostly spoiler-free, I&#8217;m still going to put everything behind the cut just in case.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>So, some context. The &#8220;romance option&#8221; is by now a cornerstone of the Bioware storytelling style.\u00a0<em>DA:I<\/em> took a step back from\u00a0<em>DA2<\/em>&#8216;s approach (<a title=\"Undefined\" href=\"http:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/2014\/10\/undefined\/\">which I&#8217;ve written about previously<\/a>) and went back to romance-able NPCs with specific, defined sexualities. Cassandra is an option for male Inquisitors, but not for women. She IDs as a heterosexual woman.<\/p>\n<p>Something new in\u00a0<em>DA:I<\/em>, however, is that your Inquisitor can flirt with characters that you can&#8217;t romance. I actually like this a lot, even though it is also the source of two of my greatest heartbreaks: the subject of this post, and that you can flirt with but not romance Scout Lace Harding. But it&#8217;s also a source of interesting moments, and a nice beginning to a trajectory away from <a title=\"Bio-aware\" href=\"http:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/2012\/04\/bio-aware\/\">previous models of Bioware romance<\/a>\u00a0where the world revolves around your character. You can flirt with the indomitable Madame de Fer, Vivienne, for example, but her response will always be an amused &#8220;Of course not!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>A natural consequence, however, is that there is a possibility of heartbreak. That&#8217;s the situation I found myself in: my lady Inquisitor flirted with Cassandra relentlessly, partly because I as a player unexpectedly found her an incredibly compelling character. Cassandra is a devout knight, a Seeker of Truth: a member of an ancient order that are the &#8220;watchers of the watchmen.&#8221; But as of the events of\u00a0<em>DA:I<\/em>, her world is crumbling. The church is floundering, the world is in peril, and if you do her character-specific quest you also discover that the Seekers have a dark past they&#8217;ve been keeping from the world.<\/p>\n<p>Cassandra is trying her best to keep up, however. She comes to trust the Inquisitor in ways she didn&#8217;t expect. She comes to challenge the tenets of a church she&#8217;s served all her life because she believes it can and should do better. Cassandra doesn&#8217;t reject any part of her past; she synthesizes them with her current situation into being a genuinely good person. So why wouldn&#8217;t my Inquisitor flirt with her? She&#8217;s amazing, a pillar of strength, a worthy partner.<\/p>\n<p>And if Cassandra likes you &#8212; and you flirt with her enough as a lady Inquisitor &#8212; the following scene will eventually happen:<\/p>\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><span class=\"embed-youtube\" style=\"text-align:center; display: block;\"><iframe class=\"youtube-player\" width=\"663\" height=\"373\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-DLUJefpZNo?version=3&#038;rel=1&#038;showsearch=0&#038;showinfo=1&#038;iv_load_policy=1&#038;fs=1&#038;hl=en-US&#038;autohide=2&#038;wmode=transparent\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" style=\"border:0;\" sandbox=\"allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-presentation\"><\/iframe><\/span><\/div>\n<p>When this happened it broke my heart.<\/p>\n<p>The signs are there even before you reach this point. Cassandra&#8217;s response to flirting is telling; she&#8217;s pleased (she approves even if you&#8217;re a woman) but her laughter is awkward, her change of subject sudden and abrupt. It&#8217;s clear that Cassandra doesn&#8217;t know how to react to this interest in her. And eventually it reaches a point where she is genuinely concerned about not just herself, but about\u00a0<em>you<\/em> (well, your avatar) as well.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not my Inquisitor in that video, but the person who uploaded it makes similar decisions to mine. Where we differ is that in the second choice, I didn&#8217;t try to convince Cassandra; I picked &#8220;I do understand&#8221; instead. In that instance, your Inquisitor tells Cassandra she doesn&#8217;t owe you an explanation, to which the Seeker responds that &#8220;No, in fact, I do.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I think most of us understand how painful unrequited love can be. If you grew up queer (as I did), there&#8217;s an additional layer to that experience: being in love with someone who you know not just\u00a0<em>doesn&#8217;t<\/em> return your affections but, really,\u00a0<em>can&#8217;t<\/em>. In many cases, these feelings are for the people in our young queer lives that are our support network. As a wee gay in the mid-90s, my close allies were very, very few and I was assuredly in love with at least one of them. It&#8217;s a feeling you learn to bury, or at the very least, to try and transform into a different kind of closeness, so that you don&#8217;t lose something very important in the process. If you&#8217;re lucky, you can deal with it all on your own.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, though&#8230; sometimes this sort of conversation is inevitable, and I&#8217;ve had them myself. They suck. But they are good, in a way. They can be useful no matter how much they hurt.<\/p>\n<p>But they do hurt. And I think this scene is made all the more gut-wrenching by Cassandra&#8217;s tone of voice and body language. She is nervous, uncertain; she doesn&#8217;t want to hurt you, but she knows that to continue on as you have is\u00a0<em>going<\/em> to hurt you eventually. And since you the Inquisitor have not shown any signs of stopping, Cassandra wants to put a stop to it now, before it goes too far.<\/p>\n<p>Now I&#8217;m certain people may be saying &#8220;Why does she have to close it off? Can&#8217;t she just have good humor playfully flirting?&#8221; And I imagine it could, if Cassandra were a different person. If it were Iron Bull, for example (well, and Bull weren&#8217;t pansexual), I don&#8217;t think it&#8217;d be a problem. But Cassandra is who she is, and to be honest, I think expecting her to go on flirting with you when it makes her uncomfortable is selfish. She has every right to shut it down.<\/p>\n<p>When this moment happened, the reality of it hit me hard. But I bring this up not to discuss the narrative content &#8212; wonderful though I find it &#8212; but the mechanical side. If you consider a Bioware romance a &#8220;success&#8221; then this scene is a fail state. You fail to romance Cassandra no matter how hard you try, because she shuts you down. But it&#8217;s a fail state that has a very meaningful endgame in terms of characterization for Cassandra and, really, in me\u00a0&#8220;roleplaying&#8221; my Inquisitor.<\/p>\n<p>The game lets me make decisions that it knows from the start &#8212; that\u00a0<em>I know from the start<\/em> &#8212; are going to go nowhere, but the point is that the &#8220;outcome&#8221; of those decisions doesn&#8217;t matter. The journey, my deepening relationship with Cassandra, is the point, and no matter how sad I am that my Inquisitor can&#8217;t be out there with this amazing knight at her side, I&#8217;m happy that I got the chance to try, and to see that side of her.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I want to talk about the part of\u00a0Dragon Age: Inquisition that made me cry, or at the very least to tear up and force myself to not cry. There are a lot of narrative beats, a lot of moments, in\u00a0DA:I. I am sure you might expect that this emotionally-impacting scene is one of many in&hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/shes-not-that-into-you\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">She&#8217;s Not That Into You<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":636,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[81,4,28,9],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/cassandra-poster.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NfdI-ae","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=634"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":637,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions\/637"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/636"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaoticblue.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}